Friday, November 19, 2010
My first Entry
Journaling at one time was a huge part of my life. As a little girl we called it our diary. Dear Diary... today the cutest boy smiled at me. Oh for the days of that simple life. In high school a very dear English teacher had us journal as an ongoing project. She encouraged us to pour ourselves into this project. If I remember correctly, most of the girls put much more effort into the project than the boys. We had a required number of entries and that is usually what our fellow male students would complete. I can remember writing nightly in that notebook, adding sketches, and random thoughts, and pictures. That notebook documented my junior year. My family moved away from that summer, but I continued to write in a journal throughout most of my college years. Some of my entries, as I look back now, show the young inexperienced soul that I was. Weeping over boys, or the lack there of. At some point, my entries became sparse, and eventually stopped. I do regret not keeping up with my daily musings. When I do look back over what I had, I am often reminded of that girl who had so much hope. I am sometimes surprised at how old my soul was at the age of 16. I am always surprised at how deeply I loved. What did I know back then? I don't know if it was adulthood that got in the way of my writing, or maybe motherhood, but I often wonder about those years. Where was my heart, my mind, my emotions? I do not want to look back five to twenty years from now and wonder the same thing about this era in my life. Thus, the beginning of my blog. I will do my best to pour into my writings here as I once did as a young teen. I am still that girl, just a little older, wiser, maybe a little bruised, but I am still her. I still love deeply, weep over boys, hope for my children (who now exist), and remain as true to my old soul but young spirit as I possibly can.