Why is it that you may have many wonderful friends, and great number of supporters, but have just one not so supportive person, or a handful, and you become obsessed with why that person or persons doesn't like you? I really hate that about myself.
Funny thing is.. I tell my kiddos all of the time that you can't please everyone, and that you won't like everyone, but the key is to simply learn to coexist. If you attempt to make everyone happy, you will either run yourself into the ground, or you will end up offending someone very important to you. Yet, when I feel even the slightest inklings that someone doesn't like me, it starts to burn at my very core. I begin running scenarios through my head as to what I could have possibly done to make them not like me. That then moves on to what I can do to turn that around and become friends with them. If it is someone that has authority over me I usually end up doubting everything about myself and any ability I just might have. I will begin to doubt whether or not I should even be doing what I am doing.
Why do I feel such a need to be liked by all??
Lately I have really been struggling with this. I felt as if a handful of people just really didn't like me. It has been a tough path, and has really brought many questions and deep pondering. I keep wondering if God is closing a door, or leading me to another place. Just when I think I have overcome the feeling of not being liked, or the awkwardness of my presence, yet another incident occurs, and I again start reeling as to what I am missing, what have I done, why don't they like me?!? I again wonder if God keeps trying to change my path, send me where I am needed.
Then again, maybe God needs me to heed my own advice...' don't take it so personally, not everyone is supposed to like you'... because in earnest, I need to live my life as to not bring shame to Him. If I am trying so desperately to please others, and in doing so I change who He had made me to be, then I am missing out on His purpose for me, I am becoming of this world, and not set apart for His. Maybe these people are meant to show me where I am still so desperately seeking human approval when I should be seeking His approval.
AACK!! I hear all of this, I am doing my best to listen to it all, but my core is still reeling, trying to understand what I have done, and what I can do to make it better. So.. I will be trying to let go, and let God. Some people are just not going to like me. I have to try and be ok with that, because you know what.. there are some people I am just not supposed to be good buddies with... we are just meant to coexist... so, I just have to adopt a mantra about all of this... 'don't take it personal'